I have a few fuzzy memories from kindergarten, but one that is very clear is sitting at a table with some crayons and a coloring page. I began to color and I tried so hard to make sure that I stayed inside the lines, but I just couldn’t. No matter what, that crayon would stray outside of the bold black borderline of the drawing and I just became more and more angry and more and more frustrated until I finally slammed the crayon down on the table, crumpled up the paper, and cried. The memory is fuzzy after that. I’m sure it likely involved prayer since I attended a Christian school, but I also had a sweet teacher, so I’m sure it also involved a lot of comforting, too.

I enjoy coloring. I can manage to color inside the lines and most of the coloring I do is on pages that feature cute animals mingled with swear words. I still get frustrated sometimes, though, because the pen or pencil or crayon slips over a line or it isn’t quite the shade I wanted it to be and it’s just not perfect. But what is? I have to continually ask myself that question because I struggle with perfectionism and I always have (and always will). What is perfect? Is anything? Certainly there is no one who is perfect.

In fact, as I write this, I wonder if we’re even right to assume that Jesus was perfect. He never claimed to be. Perfection is something that men (yes, men) decided was one of his attributes. I mean, from what we know about Jesus in the stories we read in the Bible, he was definitely closer to perfect than just about anyone else. But he also never demands perfection. He only asks that people follow and emulate his actions. Jesus just says, “Follow me,” and he doesn’t put any qualifications on it. There definitely isn’t an expectation of perfection. So why was I always taught that perfection was the (unachievable) goal and the ultimate reward once I got to heaven?

The Unattainable Goal

In the Conservative Evangelical (Southern Baptist) faith that formed me, the foundational belief about the human condition is that Adam and Eve were created as perfect and without sin by God, but they succumbed to temptation by Satan. (Well, Eve, succumbed to Satan, and Adam succumbed to sinful Eve – but that’s for another essay.) Once they ate of the forbidden fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, these formerly-perfect humans were now sinners and banished from the Garden of Eden forever. They were no longer worthy of even being looked upon by God and now had to work and labor and toil for what they had and for God’s attention and mercy and love. They had to work their way back to perfection.

In this theological framework, humans are set up for failure. A return to a state of perfection can only be achieved one way: by believing that Jesus Christ died in place of you (a sacrifice) and therefore, you’ll be seen once again as perfect by God. But only after you die and get to heaven. You’ll still be imperfect in an imperfect world. Even though you did the “right” thing. Even though you colored inside the lines. The goal of perfection is promised and you’re told you’ve met it, but you won’t experience it until you’re in heaven – which we aren’t even sure exists.

When Imperfection is Better

Did you know that imperfections can actually make metal alloys more useful? It’s true! I realize that it is counterintuitive to think that something that isn’t perfect could actually be better, especially for a perfectionist like me. But very often when we think of ways of describing human perfection, don’t we end up describing it in terms of sameness? A particular way of doing things, thinking, believing, living, learning? Is there room for much diversity? Think about it.

Sometimes it’s the imperfections – visible and invisible – that help us make stronger connections which foster authenticity and build resiliency. In a Christianity that is focused on individual piety and that chases after emulating perfection, you’re locked in a constant struggle of comparing your level of piety to others and your worthiness before God. But the Way of following Jesus – which is all that he ever asked of us – is also one that never demands perfection and always speaks of companionship. When Jesus sent disciples out into the field, they were never sent alone; Jesus always sent them in pairs.

Following in the Way of Jesus relies upon interrelationships, interdependence, and I would also argue that it relies upon imperfection. Because when we are in community with each other and we are safe and able to exist authentically, then we begin to be vulnerable. (Because authenticity and vulnerability are inseparable.) I can virtually guarantee you that my vulnerabilities can be bolstered by the strengths of others in my community and the vulnerabilities of others can be bolstered by my strengths. But unless we become comfortable with and honest about our imperfections, we will never know how to help each other and how to make our communities stronger together.